“Beta, give your uncle a kiss no?”

I am horrified by the number of children who gets sexually abused all around the world. A major level of these abuses happen within the blood relatives. Or people who are close to the family.

Parents who are supposed to guard the children from these predators often fail at this and they never even realise that they failed long ago. We do not raise kids to understand that their own actions and their body is their own. If you look at it, how many time have parents / grand parents have asked a kid to give a kiss to an uncle or an aunty or a cousin ? I have seen it all over the board. It’s innocent. Parents are not understanding the implications of the request.

Kiss or physical contact with these people become solicited by parents. Kids will not understand the difference between an innocent kiss done at the request of some one you trust and how it can all horribly go wrong.

If there is a sick person, he or she can very well take advantage of the innocence and abuse the kid. After all the first contact was okay by parents and mommy papa cannot do anything wrong.

Children need to grow up with the understanding that their bodies are their own. That not even their parents have any rights over a kids body. Katia Hetter from CNN puts it succinctly.

“Forcing children to touch people when they don’t want to leaves them vulnerable to sexual abusers, most of whom are people known to the children they abuse.”

Hugs and Kisses are the child’s to give. Forcing the kid to do something against his or her wish is taking away their control over their their body. Leaving them susceptible to any future advances.

Hetter also reminds us that forcing our kids to be affectionate when they don’t want to can impact their sexual relationships as teens, because it “teaches them to use their body to please you or someone else in authority or, really, anyone.”

“Affection should never be forced.”

Also instead of hugs or kisses, a handshake is more physically less intimidating. The physical boundaries are well in place and this is something that can save a relative from being too hurt.

Respect the physical space, respect your kids wishes. You may end up never knowing the shit that can happen to the kid. After all most sexual abuses happen from people who are known to the victim. Let’s not be the ones who take away a child’s sense of self.

Heavily borrowed from the link below. Please read it.