What if we are wrong?

What if we are wrong ? It is an obvious question to ask, to both the atheists and the religious.

What if we are wrong?

I know what you believer  would say about me being wrong. Endless boiling pits of fire and agony, though I might say it would be metaphorical fire and metaphorical agony. Eternity of torture and living in regret. Living in regret? I guess existing in regret is a better word. I guess all the believers will be happy to know about the punishment that will be meted out to me, and all like me who chose to question the conventional superstitions and the accepted superstitions. Or decided not to believe in people who come back from the dead, got ten heads or egoistic humanity-infused eternal beings.

If I am wrong what will happen? I am sure all you believers can’t even reach a consensus about what will happen to me. Why?

Because I have rubbished Christianity, ridiculed Hinduism and mocked at Islam. I am not even considering the confusions that will come up if I include the sub-sections of all these religions at all. Initially according to Christians and Muslims I will be in an almost similar place, boiling pits of hellfire. In some ‘level-n’  according to the ‘bad things’ I have done and said. If I include the subsections, there will be no consensus as of where I will end up, so I am just ignoring them.

But then I am in shit even if I believe in any of these two religions and the truth turn out to be the other God is true. What if I follow Christianity and eat Ham ( which I really like ) and do all the things that Christianity has no issues with and die happy. Thinking I have done everything MY god has asked me to do .

And I am introduced to Mr. Allah. Awwww..

Question : ” You ate pork?”

Answer : “yeah :(

Question : ” Infidel, you let your woman go without wearing a burqua ?”

Answer : ” Yeah, but that’s her free will to wear what she wants”

Statement: ” Just answer the questions, no need for any justifications”

Question: ” did you observe Ramadan?”

Answer : ” No”

Question : ” Did you believe that I am the most powerful, omnipresent God, who is the only one who exist and worthy enough to be called a God, That I… ( just fill in the rest constant reader.. ) ? ”

Answer : ” Nope”

Verdict : ” Level 7 he’ll”

Obviously, no virgins for me!

And what if I was a Muslim and I end up in a Christian heaven ? The questions will be different and it will be about ‘Not attending Sunday Mass’ , ‘Not accepting Jesus as the Savior General’, ‘ Not contributing to Church’s charities’ and ‘Not being a Cannibal’.

Anyways even if I am either a Muslim or a Christian, my probability of ending in he’ll is the same! 50%.

Only hope is if the actual God’s are those of the Hindus. Then I will be some dog or earthworm or a fish. And if I behave good when I am a dog or a earthworm or a fish I will get more chances to wipe the board clean with my “next life”. As done by Ms. Julia Roberts.

Contrary to what most of the religious people like to believe; most of you re going to hell. Because the rules set by the gods are pretty hard and fast. No matter what the local priest try to tell you. Jesus said he is the “only path to salvation”, Mohammed is pretty confident about what will happen to infidels. No much option here for the religious.

Well let’s forget all that. Let’s say Allah will accept Good Christians and Good Hindus. And Jesus will accept Good Muslims and Hindus. And whoever of the Hindu Gods will accept a Good Christian and a Good Muslim. But even then all of the non-belonging heavenites ( Hindu in Christian, Muslim in Hindu, Christian in Muslim etc ) won’t be finding what ever they expected !

A good Hindu expecting a lot of cute chicks dancing and all will be in veritable he’ll if he is asked to worship Jesus all day. And same about all others!

No virgins! No deal!

So what is the point? It’s only one set of all of you believers are going to be in true heaven. Rest all are going to be in hell, one way or the other. Another issue will be more funny.

Let’s say all these Gods are actual competitors. And all the Gods have an issue with people who follow the Other Guy. Christians does mass murder, Muslims are all set to go “jihad jihad” against other religions! Guess if you end up with the wrong God you are all going to be in more shit! And guess what, we atheists will be faring better. We did not go with the competition. We were in a non alignment movement, like India in times of cold war :)

Guess we are still having a slight advantage here. Or let’s say that there is actually a god there. If he is not the pissant and egoistic maniac as portrayed by the religions and I can cherry pick those parts that actually says about a loving and benevolent God. Then most probably it is possible that we atheists will get an opportunity to meet him. Since he is loving and does not want anyone of us to be lost forever, there is all chance that this loving guy is going to give us atheists an audience.

Question: ” Hey, why did you not believe in me?”

Answer : “Can I elaborate or should I say in one word?”

Question :” Of course you can elaborate! I still love you ”

Answer : ” I searched the holy texts , asked the so called self-anointed people, looked into the possibility of you being what they tell who you were. Could not accept all the bad things in this world, the children dying and people doing nothing physical but praying. I could not understand why every religion asked for money and tried to say they were the only path to You. I could not stand the divisions it created between people. It no longer was about being a good human. No one wanted a good person. Everything was divided between Gods and people. Who put themselves as your representatives. And I could not see you doing anything. You were letting all these people fight and kill, rape and ruin, destroy civilizations and eradicate true love, prevent progress and let stupidities take hold of human mind. You were nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere  I could, read as much as books that I could get my hands on, found the reasons behind most books that were called ‘holy’. Now I know that you were the one who created me, that means you were the one who gave me my intelligence, and the tendency to question everything. That means you made me who I am. I did my bit of searching to see which among all the Gods venerated by humans is the true one. Did not find any. You did not leave behind anything to tell me that you exist. And all those people wanted me to believe you existed so that I can find whether you existed. Which is quite dumb a reasoning if you ask me.”

Question: ” That was quite long”

Question :” Now, if you are given a second chance to live , will you believe in me?”

Answer : ” Then I would be an agnostic rather than an atheist. I would know you exist but there is no reason for me to pray to you or worship you. Now that I know how decent a guy you are, I don’t think you would want me to sit and pray to you to get you to do things for me. I would rather do them myself. I don’t have to bother you or bother about you. You would just want me to be decent and live my life myself. ”

Question: ” That is some risk dude! I can still send you to hell!”

Answer : ” Why should you? That would just prove that you are the egoistic, self obsessed freak of a  God. This is contradicting the fact that you have given me  a chance to clear my side here. But then if you are sending me to hell now, I don’t think  I will find much difference in a Heaven ruled by a self obsessed guy like you, and a Hell which is ruled by the Ultimate Bad Guy.  I’ll be feeling the same both places. And if you are letting me into heaven, don’t even think for a minute that I am gonna worship you. I still don’t care. If you got any work for me to do you can ask”
Question ; ” Welcome to heaven”

I guess if the God is love, something like this is going to happen. Just because I don’t believe, I ain’t going to hell. No atheist is. So if I am wrong, I have left more openings to get out of hell than the believer who is you. Either way, I don’t care. Because there is no Hell. No God. No Heaven.

Next part, what if you are wrong and I am right?